right. i’ve realised i’m missing about a month’s worth of posts. Why? it’s really simple.
procrastination, procrastination, procrastination, stress, stress, stress, illness, illness, illness and work, work, work!!!!
arghhhh. yes. these kill me. literally!
so the procrastination.. mostly due to me constantly filling my time with other things that i don’t get around to blogging. i’ve tried to tell myself over and over again that i should blog religiously on a certain day of each week but well.. that didnt work
and then i tried to blog when i was motivated to do so in the hope that it’d come in bursts. that didn’t work either becuase i spent too much of my time thinking about how to approach the project that i’d freak out and spend time freaking out instead of actually confronting the fear head-on.
stress.. well i have a list of things on my mental to-do list that keeps getting longer and longer. i seem to have so many things to do at the same time that i just dont know where to start. coupled with the procrastination – i end up not getting anything done and just freaking out lol.
illness – urgh. this is the worst. i took a week off work to dedicate time to writing the research essay and guess what?! i had to do work from home because we had a new website launching and as it was a big deal, i was asked to do some work from home during my leave cos unfortunately i’m the only flash designer. so come monday – day 1 of my week off – what happened? i got ill! fever, cough, blocked nose, headaches – the works! it sucked so bad. the following days were spent doing work work and dying in front of my pc until “work time” was up and then crawling back into bed to continue dying/mending. i only managed to get back to my essay writing on thursday and it was a frantic rush and major stress. i think everyone literally knows me as sick girl or the sickly child! cos i’m ALWAYS sick. this christmas all i truly want is a new body. one that doesnt break down or get ill for at least a month! :’(
work – well.. with the new site comes new stresses. i have to learn AS3 and to be honest; i’m totally crap at coding! no matter how many times i read code over and over again, it never manages to go into my head. ok so understanding code a bit and being able to decipher some parts gets me by but geesh.. i wanna be able to write code without having to google for examples and take chunks of code from here and there and put it into a big melting pot. on top of that, i have to learn CS4 since i now have that system on my pc at work cos the new site uses flash player 10, AS3. joy! and also i have to learn this new system cos a company we use at work has updated their old system with this new one.. so i have to get my @ss onto learning that. not to even mention the fact that i have 5 goals i set out to accomplish by the end of the year and i’ve literally had no time to spare from my daily workload to even dedicate to that. so i guess it’s bye bye target goals.
anyway.. enough complaining. we started class a few weeks back and it’s good to be back =) we were all stressing about the essay and now we’ve got a presentation to do based on it at the end of this month. then our assessment for unit 1 is in december. i’m kinda silently panicking because i’ve realised that i havent conducted much primary research aside from attending a few exhibits that mention sound and the interview with Brent.
so today i wrote myself a list( by list i mean scribbling it on the back of my hand so that i wouldnt forget). the list consisted of:
creating a questionnaire on survey monkey to send out to deaf ppl
update my blog ( yay.. achieved this at least)
sound animation ( i guess this relates to actually doing something physical so that i can start creating the animations)
email societies ( this was to remind me to go back to my email and read any responses that i got and find some new contacts/links that could help me with my project research)
so.. this week… i’m going to try to get through this list. the blogging should be easy. i have a few posts in mind ( everything seems to always be stored in my head but never anywhere realistic) so i will try to get up to date with my posts by this time next week.
i have a couple of weeks holiday leave remaining from work cos my flight back to thailand is booked and i need to change the dates so i might take another week off to do some major primary research. by that i mean going to meet people within my target audience, go visit some societies and charities related to deaf ppl blah blah.
i’m not going to mention any more. i feel the more i say things the more i dont get them done and plus i hate being one of those types of people who say they’re going to do this and that and never get around to it. well.. actually i end up being one of those types of people because unfortunately life gets in the way of achieving any of the goals i set myself ( i.e. attending a djing course is brushed aside because i first need to buy a house and then get dj decks and then i can take lessons, learn the drums – again the whole space/practise issue, go back to my martial arts – they only have classes on weekdays and to be honest i dont think i could magic up any more energy after my work day ends blah blah blah). it’s a terrible cycle to be in and hopefully one day i will achieve a point in life where i dont have to make lists of to-do’s and just enjoy and live for the moment